heat like young dolph in 2017 timeless like dolph in 3017 I kid but I really liked tworking this one together it felt free somewhat compared tto the previous
the first slime season tape, from a decade ago, been spinning it a lot since this spring.jmaybe it’s easy to forget at this point exactly hoe crazy everything he was doing back then was, his beat slection, flows, the much memed melodies, even the lyrics. so many artists from that era, that city obviously but him and future were worthy standouts at this point kind of the only standard bearers left as everyone figures out where this is all conceivably heading to war yes but of what nature resolving dissolving how. and how after that and yeah we’re insecure and afraid and wracked with regret and survivor’s guilt and those as they say are the real abstractions. the fuck is he saying the fuck is he ever saying it’s just how he is but we all love pluto and we all love thugga it made sense to us, these children of wayne and guwop for the youth who were once children in the apartments, elementary middle school kids discovering the thrill of the music played around all that was in the air as we learned to feel and fear death in every sensation every impression it wasn’t just me although maybe I was just weaker. foreign, weak, terrible combo.
young thug made a hard turn towards the mainstream after that peak of the atlanta sound, 2013-2017 though to me it was all the truest avant-vanguard sound but yeah after btg it was clear the move for him was straight to the face streamlined pop trap but still hard still cinematic though at this point blockbuster record breaking opening weekend am,bitions rather that movie festival critics darling that then croosses over, I’d assume part of it must have been that he realized he wouldn’t be a free man forever I assume there must have been some concious play to rack up as much cash as possible get his and his peoples money right for the day the state arrives. sometimes is all the time and sometimes when you look around all you can see is pain. you could never take care of your people the way they needed so who the fuck are you.
you don’t really have people your people are across the ocean they are here at the apartments, the disgusting suburbs, the other apartments either way either side of the ocean your people aren’t really your people you have never done a thing forthem or yourself or God so again tell me who the fuck are you. you made a promise to your cat to keep her and her sister with you and you couldn’t even do that you leaned young into self abnegation as governing principle in your relations with others realizing it had as motive force utmost fear and self involvement as much as love therefore corrupt and hypocritical foundationally so you are left in extremes of isolation because your intentions are worthless and you have neither charm norj talent you do have perspective in fact plural make that perspectives but they are all ultimately trite and boring so your desperate attempts to break isolation will only reinforce the estrangement.
what the fuck has been happening in rap anyways there have been some fantastic releases but most by forty year olds basically, roc marc and premier tape, 2 chainz x larry june x alchemist, both classics so can’t complain but stilll. the younger ones that are worth listening to, rico or nudy or mike and mavi and them are doing incredibly interesting thingsd but the’ve also all been around damn near a decade at this poiny. boldy too obviously, bbynmurtha still making heat but the mainstream of the mainstream needs life. people are still interested in ttyler but that is kind of boring to mee. middle of the decade something is supposed to rise like a hurricane from atlanta, from new orleans, somewhere but I’ve confidence it can still happen at some point at some point. people forget it was happening in the middle of the 2000s too ringtone rap was the most pop manifestation but also the part of A FLOOD OF SOTHERN CREATIVITYj mistaken caps lock there that was swept away to a degree by 2008 or 2009 with the rise of, among other things the drake thing, the cudi thing, the intensification of kanye’s megalomania all that before the drakesc and kanyes were themselves reduced to looking to the 2010s neotrappers for relevance by 2015, 2016.
I too adderall for the first time sinec january 2023 on monay haven’t taken meds of any sort since february 2024. I spoke to someone that I handn’t spoken to in more than a year, briefly. maybe poinylessly. I wanted to ask forgiveness even though I was vthe one that both of us realixze along with the few prople that would be around us consistent reaLUZAtion that I was the one being taken advantage of probably shouldn’t have been hanging out with the guy that much anyways but the pain that criplling illness and isolation inflict accumulates and you’re at the mercy of everyone around you because you need them more than the reverse regardless of what you to to be there for others it will remain the case that you’re the one that’s this desperate this pathetic this chronically suicidal since you were in middle school at the other apartments, twenty years ago, so who the fuck are you to expect more remain fretful and insecure and eternally grateful for the most fleeting mercy you receive therev are people that deserve it as much as you and there insn’t even a point in you being here really you say so yourself so what. what more, what else. the real abractionsj.
all the time you feel music joyously rage you fear and exult in ther rhythms hoping the blind clarity will envision sublime mortal acts realizing your personal role will be irrelevant which seems a blessing but perhaps isn’t and it will also be pain which seems to at least offer opportunity to learn but perhapsdoesn’t but whichever perhaps prevails you won’t learn even when the opportunity is there. you may remember, and you may bear witness and whichever way it goes at the end you’ll be sleepless, alone in tears.
I haven’t made one of these since last summer, my old phone broke and the new one’s camera’s way way worse but it turned out looking better tha I would have thought…all the stuff outside was video I randomly took one week in April when the weather was really great peak early Spring bright and light emergent green full but yet to develop the languid thickness foliage only attains through real summer and like real heat if that makes sense @thesaddestchorusgirlintheworld you get it right where was I yes so that was the ouytside footage and everything inside was over a couple of nights earlier this week apart from one fron early last year when I was still at the apartment and still withe the cats. Ended up randomly moved to do this after among other things listening to last year’s bladee album for the first time, first new release of his I’ve heard since maybe 2021 when I listened to the fool for the first time @exene when else but during the last or second last of the weeks I spent watching my grandfather sick and dying having fever dream flashbacks of the 1965 war the first time I was back in Pakistan since 2003 the last year I was in Lahore where I still haven’t been back since that year, the year I learned that our sister city is not only Delhi but ours and Delhi’s and Kabul’s and Rio de Janeiro and Cairo and Ho ChiMinh city all of our actual sister has and will be Baghdad which will always contain the potential to by its own immanent logic develop into Baghdad in 2003 although obviously each time a screaming comes across the sky, fill in the Pynchon thing here basically but yes. this is a video, the music is still all just what I was playing in my room on the tv with volume all the way up lol there still isn’t a separate audio track to any of this but I want to start messing with that stuff and cutting less cornerds if I keep doing the things but this was really fun to make actually
Israeli society might be more hitlerfied in terms of both the average citizen as well as like. every single institution in the damn place, all of those polls haaretz publishes periodically where they’re like look supermajorities of secular, regligious, liberal, socialist, right, far right, far far right residents agree taht every arab should be marched right into a nuclear reactor but I still have more contempt for germans, brits, the french, and americans above all and njiot just their ruling classes but significant portions of their masses who remain content to sit atop precisely this sort of depraved world order withoutv lifting a finger against it, content to hide behind the zionist occupation forces, let them be the ones actually wearing combat gear and doing the dirty work of securing a constant flow of cheap garbage treats and capital into the world’s vaunted liberal democratic states. and every single goddamn time anybody on american soil acts with actual courage or strategises beyond the realm of convention, actually identifies and engages with the power and agents of the world’s greatest imperial state whether it’s crowds of people putting their lives on the line to combat ice agents or an individual sacrificing their own freedom to to assassinate the modern equivalent of nazi bureaucrats anytime anybody does anything remotely worth doing half of what passes for an organized left in this wretched country starts handwringing about optics and whether this might diminish the electability of some useless moron the dsa is running for town comptroller or whatever the fuck. people will like my idiot podcast or youtube channel less if I say fuck this country and everone that finds themselves to have a stake in its defense. which even on the terms of your own damn solipsism which are I guess your only terms, how the fuck has that been working out for you. Maybe the people for whom conviction that points towards something more true and genuinely emancipatory is a deal breaker are people that you should fucking stop catering to, maybe that would bring a lot of other people to point where they might find a reason to trust you and very likely even build alliances with you. maybe. but those aren’t people with whom solidarity is desirable or relevant they’re barely even people.
The Yemenis singing Make it a major global war last year were right as the Palestinian resistance was right in initiating Al quds tufan. In the class struggle the only way out is through but you may not make it out alive which is something that a lot of us that claim to be communists have zero inkling of, zero inkling of the fact that the essence of the class struggle, of Communism itself, of Marx’s real movement that abolishes the present state of things, surpasses despite being anchored in your own individuated existence because even your individuated own existence is not an idle exercise in self-preservation above everything else it is a creative ruthless yet mirthful, playful endeavor through which you contribute to the living and illumination of life not as measured in more or less units of embodied labour power but in the character, direction, tenor of your individuated and classed influence upon the flow of history, upon the face of nature that is our own face as it is the face of another and another and countless others, as it is the reflection of a suggestion of the exposure of another overlooking and overlooked and encompassing and encompassed. And Beauty. Your life your influence your struggle your beauty will persist and persevere whether you make it out alive or not and you might not make it out alive and that might not appear to even make a difference which is hard to reconcile ourselves with even as all of our logic and our theory and our instinct and our rationality provide us with abundant evidence that there is more to what’s going on than the way things appear there is even more to appearances themselves than what is apparent. But we forget for we hope to forget that we may not make it out alive and very little of it will be up to us. We, as individuals will be measured by a struggle that we may never survive and a lot of us who claim to be communists forget that our measure is taken as such it is taken to the extent that we take our struggle into our own hands and how we move even as we realize we may be moving as easily towards our life as our death. A lot of us that claim to be Muslim have forgotten that victory is assured under either circumstance.
Provided you struggle. Iran’s people today pay for the fecklessness of their leadership who attempt appeasement with the Israelis and their American backers despite decades of history laying out the inherent expansionist logic upon which the entire zionist project rests. If the Irani government had accepted the Palestinian resistance’s invitation on 7 October instead of waiting and waiting and countenancing greater and greater levels of escalation from the Israelis than perhaps thousadns of Palestinian lives may have been spared perhaps if Iran had showed initiative instead of waiting until they, personally had to face all out war. For all the rhetoric for all the dramabazi the Irani elite’s fundamental envy of the unencumbered riches of the treasonous rulers of the Arab world blinded them to reality leaving them attempting to bargain with the Americans right up until the point when Israel left them without recourse. the success of october 7 on the part of the Palestinian resistance was in destroying the foundation upon which such reconciliations with oppression could remain tenable, the failure of october 7 lies with the heads of the rest of the arab nations, of Iran, of Pakistan, of an obscenely and obsessively self interested and in its fundamental mass character dimwitted unimaginative and again treasonous western left, of the governments of the global south even putative left regimes in china, in brazil, the failure of right left and center goverments to even implement an embargo against the zionist entity, the failures of every one of us committed to repeating the great crime of claiming that which we do not do and as yet have no intention of doing though we claim to want otherwise we ramain content to let others bleed and fight for us as we delude ourselves into thinking we can live and liberate without fighting back and if we cower before the fight perhaps we can live and be liberated without bleeding as well perhaps we can outsource bloodshed forever. yet here we are. bleeding.
The Yemenis singing Make it a major global war last year were right as the Palestinian resistance was right in initiating Al quds tufan. In the class struggle the only way out is through but you may not make it out alive which is something that a lot of us that claim to be communists have zero inkling of, zero inkling of the fact that the essence of the class struggle, of Communism itself, of Marx’s real movement that abolishes the present state of things, surpasses despite being anchored in your own individuated existence because even your individuated own existence is not an idle exercise in self-preservation above everything else it is a creative ruthless yet mirthful, playful endeavor through which you contribute to the living and illumination of life not as measured in more or less units of embodied labour power but in the character, direction, tenor of your individuated and classed influence upon the flow of history, upon the face of nature that is our own face as it is the face of another and another and countless others, as it is the reflection of a suggestion of the exposure of another overlooking and overlooked and encompassing and encompassed. And Beauty. Your life your influence your struggle your beauty will persist and persevere whether you make it out alive or not and you might not make it out alive and that might not appear to even make a difference which is hard to reconcile ourselves with even as all of our logic and our theory and our instinct and our rationality provide us with abundant evidence that there is more to what’s going on than the way things appear there is even more to appearances themselves than what is apparent. But we forget for we hope to forget that we may not make it out alive and very little of it will be up to us. We, as individuals will be measured by a struggle that we may never survive and a lot of us who claim to be communists forget that our measure is taken as such it is taken to the extent that we take our struggle into our own hands and how we move even as we realize we may be moving as easily towards our life as our death. A lot of us that claim to be Muslim have forgotten that victory is assured under either circumstance.
Mahmoud Darwish, A River Dies of Thirst: Journals (translated by Catherine Cobham)